MyFitnessPal

I have started using this app again. The last couple of times I used it, several years ago, I became quite obsessed with calorie counting so I'm going to pull the plug as soon it starts happening again.

It's been about a week since my healthy eating resolution and it's been going mostly well. I haven't had any snacks in-between my main meals for about three days and I'm getting used to not having convenient and sugar-filled treats on demand.

I really ought to take a picture of how I look like, and I can hopefully track improvements along the way.

I didn't go for any walks today since the weather has been dreadful, I can hopefully rectify this situation tomorrow...

Return of the blob

So much time ha passed!

I got married, I got a dog, and last but not least I have a 5 month old baby :-)

Motherhood is so incredibly hard, nothing compares to the amount of energy, patience and tolerance to sleep deprivation that you go through every single day.

But my baby is great, every day he learns something new and we just adore him.

Back to the purpose of this blog though... I loved being pregnant, but my weight has ballooned and I need serious motivation to get back into shape.

My labour was horrendous and I've had back problems ever since, which has limited my mobility. It's getting better, but I'm sure losing a bit of weight would speed my recovery.

I don't know how much I weigh exactly, but I still have a considerable protruding stomach and everything is extremely blobbish.

I weighted a gigantic 75 kg 6 weeks after giving birth, and I'm certain I still weigh the same.

These last few days I've been making an effort to eat no rubbish, not snack and eat as healthily as I can. Looking after a baby is extremely hard work and I have no "me" time, but I can still go for walks and try to stay active without the need to go to the gym.

We'll see how it goes!

Norovirus

I am part of a very special club of people in the UK who have caught the horrendous norovirus, go me.

It's in my top 3 worst flu experiences ever (I have a chart, that's how often I get sick), right next to swine flu and some other "epidemic" flu that was blighting the UK when I was 17 ( can't remember the name). What can I say, I like to be part of the spotlight. A flu junkie if you will.

It started Sat night and I'm just about able to type. It was awful.

****TMI alert - you've been warned ****
What is wrong with me? The first time I went to the toilet I  didn't know which end should face the toilet bowl (so awful on so many levels) and the pain in my gut... I'd never felt anything like it. But I did think, on a *physical* level, this is what a bulimic that's taken laxatives and is purging feels. I am not talking about the emotional/psychological process, but the actual pain one's body goes through.

And the thought disturbed me greatly. Why did that even pop in my head? It's certainly not a path I want to take (like ANYONE would!), and anyone who has a brain should know  it's hard, lonely, not glamorous and not healthy (wow I am doing a great job at starting the obvious here. I should go into politics). I am just so surprised at myself for even thinking that at a time where I was probably at my lowest point physically.
****END TMI****

I am on the mend and I'll go back to work (I need to shower badly though! Must do that now). The only thing that's worrying me is that I am still feeling dizzy and weak, but I can't spend any more time wallowing in my own filth haha!

In weight loss news, well, I'm sure I lost loads but it'll be short-lived, I need to get my energy back. It sucks because I also don't have much appetite still.

So my new year is going excellent so far lol

I have spent my time (in part) reading blogs but haven't been able to comment, I will rectify that soon now that I'm better and have the strength to move my fingers! Go non-debilitating weakness!!!

Love,

S. Xxx

New year. Onwards and upwards?

I wrote this on new year's day but never posted it, I chickened out. But no longer! More up-to-date post to follow.

So, it's officially 2013. Woo hoo!

Last night I went to a posh do with fiancé and some friends, it was really fun! Today I spent the day hungover and feeling pretty low, but it's probably hangover-induced. It's going to be all right.

I just wish I could take some time off work, I haven't had a day off apart from the bank holidays and I am so tired :( I am not looking forward to stomping my way into work in the morning.

Enough of this self-indulgent whining.

It's a new year! I have no new new year's resolutions as I never stick to them, but I will be fit and healthy by September. I don't have a choice, I'm getting married then. I haven't talked about it on my blog yet, but in the spirit of this new year I feel very " fuck anonymity" right now.

So yea, big day is in September, the dress is bought and I absolutely need to look my best.

On a related note, I AM GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR!!

we've been engaged for 1.5yrs but last night after midnight was the first time I could ever say that line lol

May this year be a good one to everyone out there.

S. Xxx

Christmas and other stuff

Happy Christmas everyone! I am fashionably late ha ha.

Yesterday went well, gifts were received and given, laughs were had, food was ate, drink was drank. I had a really good day but ate a ton (I sense a reoccurring theme with all my blog posts).

I think I have managed to actually get into a semi-healthy mindset though, and today I ate better than most days this last month, so small victory for me (quickly sabotaged by having a slice of fudge cake.)

There's still a bunch of junk food in the house that I need to get rid of, so I'll be slowly offloading it to unsuspecting team mates in the coming weeks.

Back to work tomorrow, yay! Can't wait.

Hope everyone else had a good Xmas :)

S.

drunk

Ah shit. I am drunk. And I am working at 8 am in the morning. It's currently 00:30.

Fuck.

Great night though. I love my co- workers. Pity I had to leave early. Food intake was awful today. But that's something for tomorrow's Steph to worry about!

Love,

S xxx

Day 4 of operation "Don't be a fat mess".

I prefer this new title *grin*

Meh, I've been failing. Story of my life. I haven't given up yet, but it is so goddam hard when everywhere I go people are offering all sorts of delicious stuff. I don't have that sort of willpower.

Probably heading out for a few sociables this evening with people from work. Should be a laugh but I'm working tomorrow at 8am. NOT fun! But. Fuck it, it's Christmas! Am I right people???

In other news, I have done soooo little work today it's disgraceful. But isn't the point of Xmas to not work very much and get away with it, a few days a year? Jesus would agree, I'm sure.

I have decided to write the fuck out of my novel i.e. Start WRITING again. Has to be done. No one else will do it for me, sadly. So, guys, I'll be tracking my progress here. I need you to nag me if I stop writing lol

If anyone is interested, it's a fantasy novel. It will hopefully become something cool and well written by the end of it. We'll see. Wishful thinking probably...

Thats all from me, so take care folks!

S.

Blog views

Can I just say:

OVER 1000 BLOG VIEWS TODAY!!

I mean, what?? How??

Thank you so much to everyone that's reading, do say hello if you're stopping by and having a read :-)

Monday 17/12/12

Day 1 of my "Back to health" plan.

I don't know if I'll post my food intake often (it's boring reading tbh) but it might help me stay on track.

Breakfast: small bacon sandwich, black coffee --> filling, but not particularly healthy.
Lunch: Veg soup, blueberry smoothie --> yay!
Dinner: 3 pizza slices and 3 chicken gujions --> bad bad bad!

That's it. At least I didn't snack. And NO CHOCOLATE!

Small steps, small steps :-)

I also walked to and from work, and I'll get some house work done today too. Get this flabby bum moving again!

S. Xxxx

Meal last night

Well I kinda ate a lot. More than I had originally anticipated, and it's primarily down to getting pretty drunk beforehand.

And they had a chocolate cheesecake for dessert, of course I couldn't resist! But I danced the night away, drank a lot, had a laugh and thoroughly enjoyed myself. So I can honestly not complain.

I have been nursing a hangover all day but ah well. These things happen :D

@ peri, thanks for your comment! I absolutely LOVE my new job, so all the extra work is so worth it.

I've only been doing it a few months but I'm settling in nicely. I am due my review in the next few weeks (if my manager decides to have it on time this quarter!) so I'll find out soon enough what my superiors think. Hopefully they are thinking good things. I'd like that.

Yeah I read bits of your NaNo novel (only the first few chapters - time management issues on my part!) and is seems good! Are you making your second draft public when you start the edit?

I love the editing process, hate writing the first draft. Shame I must write the damn thing first before I can edit it lol

Anyhow, I am in high spirits today as you can tell. Better go and do real world stuff this evening ;) Take care xxxx

Food!

Sigh. Haven't been to the gym in god knows how long. My gym bag is staring at me, all ready to go, and I haven't touched it in ages.

Work has been crazy but enough excuses. I know I look a lot softer than I did two months ago, more wobbly, my skin is awful, and I have little energy.

That's what eating shit and not moving does to you.

So, plan of action.

I had weetabix for breakfast. For lunch I'll have a banana and maybe some almonds. I am going out to a five course meal with work this evening, but I know what's on the menu so I'll skip most of it. I do want to have some sort of proper food in my stomach though as lots and lots of drink will be had. Lots. It's going to be such a fun night, can't wait.

Back to food. I'll probably have the veg soup (no bread) and some of the main course. The dessert will be a real test for me. As long as there's no chocolate I'll not be tempted, but we'll see.

Exercise-wise, things have been shit. I've been so busy with work, the weather has been awful and I've just wanted to vegetate in front of the tv in my spare time.

That's what happens when I don't blog. Well that's enough!!

Thanks peri for your comments. I read some of your NaNo posts (I started NaNo but failed. Too much on. God I hope work gets less busy soon).

Love! S.

PS posted from iPod. Any spelling mistakes are the iPod's fault. Honest.

Thank you

Thank you very much for all your comments, you have no idea how nice they were.

I've been very busy with work - I got a promotion so I don't have much time to myself any more. I am still about and reading blogs, but I don't have time to comment anywhere near as much any more :(

This week was my birthday. I had lots of cake with my boyfriend and my work friends got me cake as well (yum), but none of my best friends remembered to even send me a text to wish me a happy birthday. Also, my boyfriend is broke and his present was really cheap. I don't really care, but what annoyed  me was the fact that he spent all his money on his brother's birthday earlier in the month, and didn't budget any for mine. Plus, I fancied a takeaway on the night of my birthday and he was too lazy to go get it. I WAS PAYING FOR IT TOO!

I am feeling very down about all this, like I'm always the one giving and everyone takes me like a mug.

It's upsetting but I haven't spoken to anyone about it. I am still waiting on a text from my friends, who are clearly too busy to bother about me.

Sorry for the self-indulgent rant.

The point of the post was to say that I'm still about, and I'll try hard to keep posting updates of my progress.

Love,

S

I'm back!

Sorry for the extended hiatus! I was away on holidays with no Internet access, and since I've been back I haven't had the chance to update my blog (though I have been reading your blogs from when I've been back!)

Italy was amazing. The fruit and veg tastes so much better than here (so did the ice creams, tiramisu, pizzas...)

I did indulge BUT I was also quite active - I went to the gym and I swam in the sea a lot. Plus all the walking. So I don't think I gained, but I haven't weighed myself so I'm not sure. Incidentally, I am trying not to weigh myself. I found it counterproductive as it affected my mood too much.

Whilst away, I received a lot of compliments about how well I looked compared to last year, which was nice.

I've been back a few days and I went to the gym on Sunday and Tuesday. I will try to go today again (Thursday) as otherwise I'll not get a chance until Sunday.

Foodwise, it's been mostly good, every day I eat healthy nutritious foods but I always end up eating junk of some sort (be it a muffin, or a scone, or whatever). And it's pure gluttony, I know it is.

Nonetheless, overall things are going well (apart from being back home! The weather had been dreadful lol)

S.

56 Kg!

I've been eating mostly very well, which I am very pleased with. I weighed myself today and I am 56 Kg, so that was a surprise as my stomach is pretty big considering.

Not long until my holiday! I wish my stomach was smaller though :(

Love you all xxx

24 days to go

And I am sick. I haven't been exercising today, but I walked quite a bit yesterday which was good. I did some lunges, sit-ups and basic yoga poses this evening. I didn't want to overdo it.

My stomach is as big as ever. My period better come soon, I'm so sick of being a bloated mess.

I have been eating fairly well, no junk but not a massive amount of greens & fruit.

That's a lie actually, I had a tiny bit of cake yesterday. Friends were round last night and brought sponge cake, so I had a little bit.

That's it for now folks :)

Technically 25 days to go

It's technically Tuesday (it's after midnight here) so 25 days to go until my trip to Italy. Aargh!

57 Kg.

I haven't been to the gym but I have been out walking quite a bit. My stomach is still sticking out though... I mean it's not as bad as before, but it's still not great. At least it was considerably flatter when I woke up this morning, so I do think I'm experiencing water retention/bloating rather than actual fat. How long will it take for all this fast food crap to finally leave my body?!?

Things have been better emotionally, but still not great. This too is slowly passing.

I am very sorry to see that Isobel has left the blogging community. Hers was one of the very first blogs I started to follow, way before I had a blogger profile. You'll be sorely missed xxxx

28 days to go

57 Kg. Still, not bad. I was planning in going to the gym this evening, but now we're going to go visit the family of my fiancé's cousin (the one that died). We haven't seen them since the funeral.

Nothing wild to report, hope everyone is keeping well :)

29 days to go

I feel like shit today. Like, really irritable and pissed off. I have no idea why, maybe it's the time of the month approaching or something.

Also, I look like a whale, but according to the scale I weigh 56.5 Kg. Makes no sense, and also I don't see how I lost 1.5 kilos in three days. It must be water weight or something, idk. I fully expect that not to last.

Guy in work bought me a cornetto because we're friends and he's nice that way and so I couldn't say no. I really appreciate the thought, but fuck me.

Apart from that, things are ok, I can't wait to get out of this country and get a bit of proper summer sun.

I might buy some cranberry juice this evening - it should help with my pregnant-looking belly.

Love you all xx

30 days left

Today I am starting a count down to my beach holiday. 30 days from now, I'll be on a plane to Italy!

I have a kilo to lose and my whole body to tone up. I'll lose that kilo without many problems, it's the jiggly horribleness of everything else that worries me lol I don't expect miracles, I just want to feel more comfortable when I "reveal" myself, so to speak.

I did quite a bit of strength training at the gym (for anyone that's worried that strength training will make you bulky: it won't. Women don't have as much muscle as men and you'd need to train flat out with perhaps a little help from Mr Testosterone Supplement to actually become "bulky".)

My problem areas remain my arms and stomach. This morning I was pleasantly surprised to see how flat it was, and my stomach felt very empty (not in an uncomfortable way. It made me smile).

Of course that changed as the day progressed! Is it normal to bloat as the day goes by? I sometimes need to move my belt buckle up a notch towards the end of the day, which is annoying. It's largely dependant on what I eat though, so probably nothing to worry about(?)

My face looks worse than ever, but I'm hoping that a few more days of healthy eating will sort that out.

Anyway, thanks for reading :)

58 Kg - again!

Yep, this is the second day in a row that I am 58 Kg so I have definitely gained over a kilo in a week.

I an trying not to beat myself up about it too much since last week was a very emotionally challenging time for us.

They had chocolate cookies in work and I resisted temptation, I was very proud.

I want to drop back down to 57 Kg asap, I really don't suit this extra weight around my body (though I know in real terms it's not really that much). It is apparently "safe" to lose a kilo in a week, so here's hoping. No more complacency.

In other news, my face is a spotty mess. Last week's diet has definitely taken its toll on me.

Thank you lulu for your encouragement :) really appreciate it!

The gym tonight won't be happening, but I am off tomorrow so I will go then. I'll leave my poached egg on toast meal for tomorrow, instead I am making toasted ciabatta with mozzarella, tomato and ham (it's more of a snack, but I find it quite filling. I don't usually eat bread). Yum!